Birthday Jokes

Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

You know you are getting old when you go to an antiques auction and people start bidding on you.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip!

A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. - Jennifer Yane

You were born an original. Don't die a copy. - John Mason

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball

Q: What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?
A: "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

Q: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
A: Next time, take off the candles."

Q: Did you hear about the tree's birthday?
A: It was a sappy one!

Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
A: "Hey, what's eating you?"

Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!

Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A: When it's been sliced.

Q: How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
A: He has a whale of a party!

Q: What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?
A: "Hi, Buster."

Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: "Don't birthdays burn you up?"

Q: Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards?
A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

Q: Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
A: In a cat-alogue!

Q: What did the big candle say to the little candle?
A: "You're too young to go out."

Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
A: Because it was marble cake!

Q: What does a clam do on his birthday?
A: He shellabrates!

Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A: Angel food cake, of course!

Q: What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake?
A: Shortcake!

Q: What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
A: A birthday pheasant!

Q: Where does a snowman put his birthday candles?
A: On his birthday flake!

Q: What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
A: Mice cream and cake!

Q: What party game do rabbits like to play?
A: Musical Hares.

Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A: “Thanks. I'll never part with it!”

Q: Where would you learn to make ice cream?
A: At sundae school.

Q: What is the left side of a birthday cake?
A: The side that's not eaten.

Q: Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?
A: No, they both burn shorter!

Q: Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
A: Because it was feeling crumby!

Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
A: Because people kept toasting him!